


Aquariumstuck One-Shots

by Dinosquirrel



Category: Aquariumstuck - Fandom, Homestuck
Genre: All the Quadrants - Freeform, Aquariumstuck, Blackrom, Cringe, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluffier Than My Cat, Light Angst, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Wow, bottom dirk strider i guess, concussion, redrom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-01-27 23:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12592616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinosquirrel/pseuds/Dinosquirrel
Summary: A collection of bad oneshots. Request whatever. I'll try for most of them, but there are some things I won't really do as well as my others, just because I don't really ship them.





	1. Dave Fucking Strider-Davekat

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are fucking pissed. You are stuck cleaning the cage of the penguins, who are pretty nice, but the person who stars in their movies is there too. And, of course, he's hitting on you. 

"Strider, please go away."

"Why should I? They are 'Mr. Strider's Penguins,' after all."

"Not right now they aren't. Go bother Kanaya, or Nepeta, or anyone else. Hell, go bother Erifish and Sollux."

" No." 

"Why?"

"Because, Vantas, I like you. You're cool."

"Fuck off."

You had been going back and forth like this for awhile. Dave penguin was watching from the side, smirking. The Mayor was scuttling around the cage and was grabbing... "Fuck me!"

"Gladly."

"No! The Mayor is getting cans again."

"Which means...?"

"I have to clean it up."

"I'd like to see you bend over."

With that, you left. You did like Strider, but honestly, you could do without some of his comments. He could clean up the cage for all you cared. Anyways, it was time for Gamzee to be fed, and although Tavros had that pretty well covered, you wanted to be anywhere but there. You walked down the dark aquarium halls, moving back to where the troll fish were. On your way, you ran into Tavros, quite literally. "Hey, Karkat!"

"You're feeding Gamzee now, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"No reason."

"... That sounds fake but okay."

The two of you walked over to the freezer to get the food and started over to Gamzee's cage. "Really though, what is wrong?"

"Strider's hitting on me. Again."

"Hmmm. I can't help with that, sorry. I deal with Mertrolls, not whatever Strider is."

"I know! And only Rose could help me."

"Why?"

"She knows Dave best."

"Why would an octopus know him best...?"

"Why would a fucking octopus sit on Kanaya's head and be able to knit?"

"Good point."

"What are you motherfuckers talking about?" Gamzee came over the edge of the cage, his fins over the railing.

"Just some idiot." You said.

"Hey now, I don't want 'some idiot' talking to my moirail." For some reason, Gamzee referred to you as his "moirail." You had asked him what it meant, but you didn't get a solid answer. He and the other mertrolls used a few different terms for people. Erifish called Fef his moirail too, so you think it's something like best friends. Erifish also called Sollux a "matesprit", which you took to mean "lover." The mertrolls are really odd, and you've learned not to question it. Instead, you watched Tavros toss fish to Gamzee, him catching them every time. Eventually, Gamzee asked "Is this guy your kismesis or some shit? You seem really annoyed with him."

"What's a kismesis?"

"You know how I feel about Terezi, right?"

"You hate her."

"Not exactly, bro. I kinda do... it's weird. We like each other just enough to wanna tap that, but are annoyed enough that it's not love."

"No, I don't think I'm like that with Strider. I mean, I don't want to 'tap that' because he's a little bitch."

"That's how it starts."

"Anyways, you like him more than that, don't you?" Kanaya walked in, Rose on her shoulder. "Hey! I do not. And even if I did, which I don't, at least he's a human, not an octopus."

"Don't judge me and Rose. She's smarter than you. She knows you better than you do if you ask me."

"She does not."

"She totally does. Anyways, didn't I ask you to clean out the penguin cages?"

"...Yeah."

 

"Why aren't you working on that?"

"Strider's hitting on me. Make him stop."

Kanaya laughed and walked off. "If you really need time away from him, go help John with Vriska. It's about time she got her cage cleaned, anyway."

You sighed and headed to Vriska's cage. Tavros stayed with Gamzee, tossing him a ball over and over again. You really don't get how an intelligent creature gets entertained like that. It just doesn't make sense. As you walked, the glow of the area got darker. It was pretty, you guess. You aren't really sure what to make of it. John was already getting Vriska out of her cage. "Hey, Karkat! How are you?"

"Fine."

"Are you helping with Vriska?"

"Yeah."

"...Okay!"

You walk over to the cage and start to drain it. John put Vriska in a smaller cage and got another mop. "Ready?"

"I guess." The two of you started to clean the edges. 

"Are you feeling okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem kinda... down."

"Eh. Maybe it's a cold or something."

"That's not good. You should definitely get it checked out. Maybe go home."

"Nah, I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Hmmm." John looked suspicious but continued on. He was very easygoing, and it would be easy to hide what you need to from him. It wasn't long until he spoke again. "So... How's it going with Dave?"

"What? I don't know what you mean." John, oblivious as always, didn't hear how fast you said that. 

"You know he likes you, right? I heard he was hitting on you earlier." Vriska piped up from the corner. 

News spreads fast, you guess. 

"Yeah, so what? That doesn't mean I like him."

"Well? Do you?"

You caught your breath. You were not going to say yes or no. Instead, you pretended not to hear. Vriska was upset, but John was okay with that response. "Oh. So, I guess the date Terezi's setting you up on will go-" He cut himself off. 

"Terezi is doing what?"

"Nothing." It could have been Vriska who cut him off, seeing as she had gotten out of her tank and clapped a limb over John's mouth as soon as she could. "I think my tank is clean enough. Now, John, why don't you fill it up? Karkat, you were feeling sick. You should go home." You knew the spider was well-known for being convincing, but you decided you could go anyways.

"See you later John."

"See you, Karkat!"

What had John been saying about a date? You needed to go talk to Terezi. Before you could, however, Kanaya showed up with Rose still on her shoulder. "I heard you weren't feeling well. You should go home and rest up. There isn't that long until closing, and we can do it without you." How fucking fast does news spread in this place, anyway? Jesus. You weren't going to argue about going home and not having to spend time where Strider could find you, so you headed out to your car. Well, it wasn't your car. It was your dad's car, but he let you use it. You got in and were intercepted by Kankri. "You can get a ride home with someone else. Kanaya is sending me home."

"Are you okay? Are you in trouble? Do I have to call Dad? Do I need to take you to the hospital? Do I-" You cut him off before he could gain any more steam. "I'm fine. It's just a little cold. Kanaya wants to make sure it doesn't get any worse."

"Okay. Call me if I'm not home, or if you-" You leave rather quickly after that. 

***

Dave's POV

"What did I do wrong? I just hit on him!"

"Dave. Calm down. He's just being shy. He does like you. Now, what did you say to him?" You were talking to Rose via a thing called Pesterchum. She reminds you of your sister, and when she needed to be named you helped choose Rose. And she is really very smart, so you talk to her. However, she lacks the vocal chords she needs to fully be able to talk. 

"I told him I liked him, and that he was cool, and- Well, I don't really remember too well."

"Hmm."

"Could you get Kanaya to get the footage of the conversation? Then you can full-on analyze everything or whatever."

"Good idea." She logged off for a few minutes. You got up and spun around in Terezi's chair. She was on Vriska-duty and had to have someone take over. Usually, Karkat did, but he wasn't here, so you were chilling out in her office. 

"Dave Elisabeth Strider. You idiot."

"What?"

"First off, don't say 'gladly' when someone is angry."

"Oh. Well, he did kind of ask for it."

"Second off, I swear to god you don't make that kind of bend over jokes. There is a lot wrong with that. If I were married to anyone and they said that, I would get a divorce as fast as I could. Jesus. Learn some manners."

"Well, I would! Didn't you say honesty is the best policy?"

Rose logged off. It took a few minutes, and then she and Kanaya were in your office. "You wanted to go here, right Rose?"

Rose nodded. 

"Hello, Dave."

"Hey, Kanaya."

"Rose, do you want to see Dave?"

A nod. Kanaya reached down and put Rose on your shoulder. You glanced over at her. She smacked you with one of her tentacles. "Hey!!"

She did it again. "Oww!"

And again. "Rose, what did he do?"

Rose hopped off of your shoulder as soon as she could and grabbed the keyboard from your lap. She showed Kanaya your pesterlog. "Dave!"

"What?"

"I swear. You don't do that. Ever."

"Why not?"

"Do you even know Karkat? Because he hates that."

"Show me something he doesn't hate, other than you, Gamzee, and maybe Terezi. And swearing."

Kanaya sighed. "Don't hit on people like that. I think he will think you are doing it for fun."

"Oh."

Kanaya shook her head. "Talk to Terezi. I can take over here for now. She has a plan."

You walked out of Terezi's office and down to Vriska's tank. She was hanging out, just sitting along the edge of the "D4NG3ROUS" sign. "Pyrope!"

"Hey, Dave!"

"Kanaya told me to come talk to you. Something about a plan and Karkat?"

"Oh. Yeah! So, you are hopelessly in love with him, right?"

"...Yeah."

"Well, he is a true romantic." 

"...So? Doesn't that mean he is super sappy?"

"No! Take him out on a date at least. He likes to be romanced. Woo him. And not ironically either. Next time he's here, ask him out. And make sure it's a legitimate asking. He won't believe it if it isn't."

"Where would he like to go though?"

You could hear Terezi's eyes rolling. "Ask Kankri, or Gamzee, or Meenah. I don't know."

"Why would Meenah know? Also, she isn't here."

"Ask your brother then. He knows how to romance people. Ask him how he and Jake are in such a loving relationship."

"Hell no. I am not going to him for relationship advice."

"Do it."

"No."

"But have you considered.... Yes?"

"No."

"Do it."

You weren't going to get anywhere with this. "Fine. Where is he?"

"Ask Kanaya or something."

The intercom came on just then. "All personnel to the felt room, I repeat, all personnel to the felt room."

"I guess he's in the felt room."

The felt weren't... scary, exactly. But they were certainly something. Jake was good at handling them, and so was Karkat. Of course, Dirk would be there too. To the felt you go, then. 

***

There was a lot of screaming coming from the felt room. But then again, that was normal. Jake was standing on top of Matchsticks, screaming. Dirk was attacking Crowbar, trying to sedate him. Meanwhile, Kanaya and Rose were trying to find Snowman the squid. Hussie the orca was also there, for reasons unknown. You have no idea how he got there. You look up at the poster on the wall. 

"The Felt!

Named for their green, fuzzy skin, there are 15 of these guys all with different patterns, and most different species. They all appear to have hats, and we recently held a contest to name them. Here are the winners!

Yellow Hat the Anglerfish: Itchy

Blue Hat the Manatee: Doze

Red Hat the Lemon Shark: Trace

Purple Hat the Puffin: Clover

Orange Hat the Lemon Shark: Fin

Green Hat the Manatee: Die" 

The list went on for a while. It's a really weird set of names. You have no idea who thought of them. Possibly Nepeta. Right next to the felt room was the bakery. Jane was hitting Crowbar with a spoon since he had landed right on top of her head. It was... chaotic to say the least. "Roxy, what the flying fuck happened here?"

"Dave! Run!"

You turned around to see Eggs and Biscuits coming straight at you. You didn't have time to say "oh fuck" before they hit you, knocking you over. Luckily, Crowbar had been sedated and Dirk ran over to get them off you. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Can I talk to you after... this?"

Dirk looked at you weirdly but agreed. As soon as this was all over, he met you outside the bakery, watching Aradia put Hussie back in his cage. "What's up?"

"I need advice."

"About what?"

"... Karkat."

There was a moment of silence from Dirk. He was trying not to laugh. He failed.

"Shut up. I need help taking him on a date."

"Awww. Little Davey is all grown up. He wants a boyyyyfrieeeend." Dirk crooned. You glared at him. "Like you're any better with Jake. Seriously. Never let me stay at your house ever again. Seriously. 'Do you think Dave heard us?' 'Nah.' WELL, I DID!!! It was not pleasant. And I thought you topped."

Dirk froze. "Fine. I'll help you."

You smirked. "What do you need help with? Ask before I leave." Dirk was glaring at you.

"Where should I go with him? He's a romantic, so I need a good place to take him."

"Oh! There's this place downtown, it's called 'The Firey Petal.' Try that."

"Thanks."

"Oh, and don't go Saturday night. Also... you may want to stay with John. Or Karkat, depending on how tonight goes."

You shuddered. "Luckily for you, I volunteered to help Terezi with night guard that night."

"Anyways. Go get your man, dude."

You rolled your eyes and walked off. Wait. Shit! He wasn't here! That meant you'd have to ask him Monday... Or Saturday night. Saturday was the 'Overnight at the Aquarium,' or something. Hopefully, he would be there.

***

Karkat's POV

You finally got home and sat on the couch. It had been one long Friday. You hit the couch and fell asleep. 

***

*TIME SKIP BY A CERTAIN DOCTOR, SPECIFICALLY THE NEW ONE COMING OUT SOON!!!*

The next day, you woke up on the couch. Kankri was standing over you, concerned. "Are you-" You got up and gave him some peanut butter. He shut up after that. "I'm fine. I think I will go to work today. There is that whole overnight thing, and everyone needs help."

You ran out the door before Kankri could say anything else. You grabbed your watch and saw it was 10:25. The bus would be here in 6 minutes. Thank god. When the bus came, you sat all the way in the back and waited for the aquarium's stop. "Karkat! Are you feeling any better?" It was Roxy. You didn't know she took the bus.

"How did you know I was sick?"

"I know everything."

"What."

"News travels fast." Faster than light, you'd guess.

"Are you doing the overnight too?" Roxy enquired.

"Yeah. Do you know who all is doing it?"

"Terezi, Latula, me, Jane, Aradia, John, you, the Leijons, Kanaya, the Captors, Tavros, and..."

Roxy muttered a name under her breath, but you pretended not to hear. You were not going to let Strider keep you away from something you signed up for. 

You got off the bus and went into the aquarium. It was quiet with no one there. You usually got to see it all alone at night, but it was pretty in the day too. Roxy ran ahead and said we were all meeting in Kanaya's office. You took your time but got there eventually. 

"Karkat! You're here! Excellent. Let's begin. So, not only will we be sleeping here, but we will also be doing some fun rotations with the kids. Some of you will be doing rotations for the adults, which are more hands-on, but most of you will be doing stuff for kids. So, here we are. 

"Terezi and John, you are with Vriska. We will be showing her off to the people who are coming. That's more at night though, so during the day, you will be with me and Rose talking about the touch tables. Sollux, you are with Erifish and the lemon shark babies. Feferi will be there too. She can talk to the kids as well about some things, but the lemon sharks are a touch table. Keep Erifish quiet.

"Latula, you are on watch during the day. Walk around, you're security. Tavros and Mituna, you guys are with the Makaras. Jane, you are baking cookies and Roxy is helping you with dinner. Meulin, you are with Tavros and Mituna, but I can't really tell you that since I'm not really in charge of you. Aradia, can you take Nepeta and hang out with the Zahhaks?"

"Sure. Is that okay with Meulin?"

Meulin took a moment but signed back yes. 

"Does that sound good to everyone?"

Nods from everyone but Dave and I. "Dave and Karkat, stay here. Everyone else, go to your stations."

"So, what are we doing?" Dave was being curious, as usual.

"You two are with the adults. I can't put you with children, they will recognize you, and Karkat... Try not to swear in front of the adults."

You scowled but nodded. "The two of you will be introducing the adults to Feferi when she isn't with the kids and answering questions about the mertrolls. Also to Cronus if you can." 

That was doable.

*** 

The two of you walked to the tunnel where everyone would be sleeping and started to set up the inflatable mattresses. "So, Karkat."

"What the fuck do you want."

"Chill! I just want to talk."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you are an insufferable asshole."

"...bkuz I was gonna ask u out"

Dave muttered something barely audible. It sounded like he was going to ask you out, but that couldn't be true. He just hit on you for fun, right?

"Speak up, fuckass."

"I was going to ask you out, okay?"

You stood, shocked for a minute.

"I swear, I'm not being put up to this. I really do like you, okay? Just... Whatever. I know you don't want to." You stared at him for a minute. "Let's go get to Cronus's tank." He walked off. You were still stunned silent. Eventually, you followed. By the time you got there, the adults were already asking questions about mertrolls, and you didn't get to talk to him. At dinner, he stuck himself between John and Aradia, effectively shutting himself off. Instead, you sat next to Terezi and Kanaya at another table. They didn't talk to you. Still, you stared at him. 

Dinner passed by quickly. Everything was unknown to you as you processed what was happening. He actually did like you. It wasn't a game. And you had fucked it up. Wow. Wasn't that just like you. 

"Hey, Karkat?"

"Yeah, Kanaya?"

"We are going to do a demonstration with Feferi's kisses. You should come along." 

"Who is going to be turned?"

"I am."

"Oh." Normally you would make fun of Kanaya for liking Rose, but it was not the most important thing to you. You walked over to the tank where Feferi was and shook your head. You could deal with that later. Instead, you sat back by the adults and watched Kanaya get into the tank. "As you may have heard, Feferi's kisses turn people into mertrolls. However, for your own safety, we can't have you do it.So instead, I will be an example." She grabbed Rose too, putting her in the water. 

"Ready, Feferi?"

"Yep." Feferi puckered up. There was a large flash of light and Kanaya was a glowing jellyfish with horns. Rose immediately curled up on Kanaya's horns as she swam around. The kids-and adults!- were gasping. You laughed at the expressions on their faces. But soon, it was over. Kanaya turned back and got out of the tank to applause. She and Feferi took a bow. 

"Now," John started. "We are going to show you where you sleep. All night, you can watch creatures swim over your head! And, for those who are daring, at around 9 Terezi and I will be showing off Vriska, the diving bell spider." Everyone dispersed, and you rolled Feferi back to her larger tank. "Karkat! Did Dave talk to you?" You didn't answer. Instead, you asked: "Who told you?" 

"Well, first I head it from Porrim, and then Latula was giving Sollux coffee and I heard, and then Roxy told me. You know they keep up the gossip, right?"

"Well... Yeah." At least she was off the topic of-

"So, did he?" Dammit.

"Yeah. Oh look, here's your tank! Here you go! Bye!" You slid Feferi into her tank and left. She called after you, but you ran away. 

***

Dave's POV

God fucking damn it. He didn't like you. And you'd fucked it up. After dinner, you ran over and hung out with the penguins. He probably wouldn't look for you. But he definitely wouldn't if you were here. It didn't matter. At least tomorrow you could pretend it hadn't happened. You thought about maybe going to Dirk's. You think they should be done around 10. You didn't hear her coming, but soon Terezi was next to you. 

"Dave, you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"He does like you, you know. He's shy though."

"No. Tomorrow, just pretend that it never happened. It will all be fine." You left before Terezi could argue. You could deal with Dirk and Jake. At least you had keys. You got into your car and sat for a moment before going home. 

"Fuck! YES!" A British accent came from inside the house. Luckily, Dirk lived pretty far from anyone else, because you were on the road and could hear them. 

Yeah, you were not going in there. If your ears didn't deceive you, that was coming from the kitchen. Ew. You were never eating there again. You drove around, eventually coming to the beach. It was far enough away from the aquarium you wouldn't be seen. You walked along the sand, letting the waves hit your feet. 

***

Karkat's POV

You stared up at the aquarium tube you were supposed to be sleeping in. Jade came floating by, smiling down at you. You could've sworn she whispered "go get him" before she was out of view. You were near the side of the massive pile of people, so you got out of your sleeping bag. The beach would be quiet, right? Working at an aquarium, you had to like the ocean. So you changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater and began out to the edge of the beach. 

***

Dave's POV

You saw someone come out of the aquarium. It was pretty far away, so you couldn't tell who it was. You hid instead.

***

Karkat's POV

Hey, was that someone hiding over there? You should go check it out.

***

Dave's POV

Shit, it's Karkat.

*** 

Karkat's POV

It was Dave. Cautiously, you came over to where he was hiding. "Dave?"

"Go away. I know you don't like me. Don't pity me. Tomorrow, we can pretend it never happened."

"Dave."

"Just... go away."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because... I like you too, okay?"

You could see Dave register what you had said. He went from shock to disbelief. Before he could say anything, you said "Really."

He reached out of his hiding spot.

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"Sure." With that, you reached down and brought his face up to yours. It wouldn't be your first kiss, but hopefully, it wouldn't be your last. 

***  
End


	2. Got To Get You Into My Life- rosemary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosemary weirdness. Some note about this whole set: I always want reviews. Please review. It all takes place in the same universe, so some references will be to other oneshots. Also, I am shit at writing endings.

Kanaya's POV

You really like Rose. You know it isn't right, but there's something about her that you just can't not like. She is an octopus. Not even a mertroll. She has some human characteristics, is very smart, but can't even speak. She risks her life for you, sitting on your shoulder all the time. You can't believe it. Of course, you aren't the only one, but at least Tavros and John like humanoid creatures.   
"Kanaya, what's wrong?"  
Your phone notified you in the middle of the night. Instead of leaving Rose at the aquarium, you took her home with you. She liked spending time with you, and you liked it as well. Someone had given her a waterproof phone (it was probably Roxy) and she used a pesterchum account to talk to you all the time.   
"Nothing, dear." You didn't bother getting on your account and instead spoke aloud. It must have looked odd to anyone watching, speaking to yourself. You looked over at Rose's tank, smiling softly. "Nothing at all."  
Rose swam to the side and seemed to cock her head. You just laid back down with a fake smile on your face. There was a gentile unease in the room, but you could feel the tension fade as Rose made a note and went back to sleep.  
What would happen if someone found out about this? Beastiality was frowned upon, no matter how intelligent those "beasts" were. It did no good to work with these creatures. That would be even worse. But the amount of care you showed for each other... It would do no good to dwell on this for very long. It would get nowhere.   
***  
Kanaya's POV  
When you woke up the next morning, it was dark outside. The winter season struck hard when it struck. You got up in a fog, and went through your morning routines without a hitch. Rose was still asleep in her tank, on the side right next to your bed. You tried to forget what you had thought about last night, and succeeded. You put on your green dress-without a single "that's cruel" running through your head- and slowly woke Rose up.   
"Hey, Rose, it's time to get into your travel tank."  
Almost sleepily, Rose drifted up to the top and waited expectantly for you to pick her up. You grabbed the thermos Dirk had modified for this very purpose, and slipped her into it. Your morning coffee was almost enough to wake you up, and you drove your car in a bit of a fog. But, eventually, you got to work. You nearly ran into Terezi as she slipped out, grumbling for coffee.   
"How was night guard? Anything interesting?"  
"Coffee."  
You rolled your eyes and walked to your office. You set Rose down in her larger tank where she was finally awake. She seemed to smile up at you, her tenticles floating in the water.   
"What's on the schedule for today?" You asked yourself as you grabbed your laptop.  
"Let's see... We've got a school group coming in from a Christian church, a visit from the care center down the road, and... Oh! The Amazon people found two trolls! They're bringing them back here today!"  
You knew that would take a long time to deal with, and set about getting what supplies you would need for the new arrivals. They weren't ready for public viewing, of course, but that didn't mean that they shouldn't have a place to stay. You walked briskly through the halls, getting everything in order. As you did, Tavros walked out of the feeding chamber.   
"Hey Kanaya!"  
"Hello Tavros."  
"Are you ready for the trolls today? I head that they are a Pixies and a Serket."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah! Rufioh is excited, he used to know the Pixies. Apparentlly she stole his helecoptor awhile back. She was the only thing not to hit on him, according to Latula."  
You could always count on Latula to know the gossip in the place.   
"Well, I'm sure they will be great new additions to our aquarium."  
You kept walking, trying to find Sollux. He would have to look at both of them. Hopefully the Pixies wouldn't cause too much trouble, would she?  
***  
A mertroll of the genus Pixies is a very interesting mertroll. Only two have ever been documented by a human. One is the Pixies at the   
"Sollux, there you are."  
"Kanaya."  
"Are you ready for the new arrivals?"  
"Well, only one is new. The other... Well, do you remember when that really quiet guy came and hung out with Meulin all day?"  
"Sort of."  
"Well, that was Kurloz."  
"What?" You had no idea! Meulin had said she really liked him, and it was too bad he was gone, but still...  
"The Pixies, Meenah, her kisses turn trolls into humans."  
"Oh. Well, what about the other one?"  
"The two of them were found together. According to Psi, the other one is a Serket named Aranea. We don't know much past that."  
"Well, good luck!"  
He would need it. He had enough trouble with the Pixies he already delt with, not to even mention Erifish. Erifish looked like some sort of personal hell to deal with.   
“Here they come!” John ran into the room, shouting at the top of his lungs. Both you and Sollux ran out to the loading dock to meet the Ancestors. Summoner was flying a large helecoptor with two boxes hanging down. He landed the coptor perfectly, the boxes hitting the ground with small thumps. Psi slipped down and cut off the ropes before Summoner flew the helecopter to it’s landing grounds. Everyone was there for the opening of the boxes, armed with sedating liquids and ready for the new arrivals. Porrim opened the boxes and everyone tensed.  
***  
The new arrivals fell face-first onto the grass. It turns out the sedative that the others had put on them worked well. Instead of attacking, the crowd rushed forward and grabbed the two of them. You ended up helping Karkat carry the Serket into the waiting room prepared for her. She had to have water on her, but also have a bunch of air nearby. The few people who could deal with her were the Pyropes, for some reason, but Sollux was in the other room directing them to what they needed to do. The vaccenese got in and everyone backed up. There was no motion from her. Sollux carefully went in and continued to treat her. In the other room, Meenah was being treated with more sedatives, allowing Sollux more time until Psi arrived. You ended up being carried away by the crowd and back to your office where you started to get backed in. You shut the door and sat down, with Rose giving you a questioning look.  
“What happened? It’s only been like a half an hour.”  
“The arrival of two new mertrolls, dear.”  
“Oh. Good luck!”  
“Do you want to come with?”   
Instead of replying, Rose put her tenticles up over the edge of her tank. You picked her up and put her on your shoulder.  
“Ready?”  
She nodded.  
You ran back out and… there was no one. Everyone had moved on, you guess. Preparing the tanks, getting people out of the way of the strechers. It was a lot quieter than it was. “We should probably go find someone and find out what is happening.” you commented to Rose.  
The two of you-well, really you- walked down the hall to Sollux’s office where… only he was. You had thought everyone would be there, but it was only him and the trolls. They were laying next to eachother, calm and serene. The spider’s legs dripped off of the table, while the… She wasn’t a mermaid, but she was close. The Pixies had braids dripping down off the edges, hitting the floor. Everything was done, except for getting them into cages. The old backroom where Feferi had been kept until she was old enough was crowded but clean. The two mertrolls were carried slowly through the empty halls until they hit the crowd of people.   
***  
A few hours later, you were back to mostly normal. Visitors were filtering in and out, but instead of having people everywhere working on everything, there was nearly no one. They were all in the back. You had just finished giving a tour of the place to some elderly couples when your radio went off.   
“The sedative is wearing off. Come now.”   
It didn’t matter who it was. You walked calmly to the door, watching Terezi as the guard outside. “It’s time!” You told her.  
“No one ever tells me anything.”  
“Ready?”  
“I don’t think so. Let’s go.”  
The two of you walked into a crowd of people all gathered around the glass tank. There was a divider between them, but seeing as they were found together, it probably wouldn’t hurt that they were next to each other. The first one to open their eyes was the Pixies. Her eyes were bright pink, the same color as Feferi’s. She hissed sort of non-chalantly at the group, and swam up to the front of the tank. “I know her. Let me talk to her.” Rufioh stepped up. “Hey, Meenah. How are you, doll?”  
“Rufioh?” Her voice sounded like a girl from the hood.  
“Yeah!”  
“Where the glub am I?”  
“You’re back at the aquarium with your friend over there. Mind telling us about her?”  
At this, Meenah swam back to the other end of her tank. “Let me see her.”  
“Sorry, but we can’t. We need to make sure you guys don’t have any diseases or some sh*t like that.”  
“Let me talk to her.” She swam back up to the front.  
“No need.” The new spider got up slowly. “I can talk myself.”  
“Aranea!”  
“Meenah!” The two of them tried to hug through the separation.  
“I take it you two know eachother.”  
“Rufioh, go away.”  
“Don’t send him away. Rufioh, it’s fine.”  
***  
Many days later, the two of the mertrolls were happy and healthy. They were sharing a tank, still in the back room. You and Rose were watching them and talking to them.   
“So, Aranea, you like books, right?” You had heard she had kept quite a library in the Amazon with her bubbles. You had brought some books for her to read and use. She seemed very curious about things.   
“I do! Thank you, Kanaya. I have not read these books. I’m sure they will be quite the addition to my learning.”  
Meenah was simply leaning up against Aranea’s legs. She leaned up and whispered something to Aranea. Aranea leaned down and giggled with her.   
“So, I heard that some people here like some one named Rose.”  
“... Well, yeah. I mean, Rose is pretty nice!” You leaned down and snuggled against Rose sitting on your shoulder.   
“Hmmmmm…” The two of them seemed like they were planning something. That was… interesting. Hopefully it wouldn’t be a problem.   
“Can she stay with us tonight?”  
You were going to say no, but a strong sense of “must” came over you. There was nothing that stopped you from slipping Rose into their tank. Rose didn’t seem too panicked, but did cling to you. You were about to question your actions when John came on over the radio. “Hey Kanaya, can you come lead this group of schoolkids around? They’re from a middle school. They forgot to mention they were coming, but they do need a tour guide.”  
“I’m on my way.”  
You headed out, leaving Rose behind. It wouldn’t be too bad. You could spend some time apart. You walked to the front of the building, meeting a group of 10 middle schoolers. “Why so small?”  
One girl with a “Team Cap” sweatshirt on said: “Our teacher said the rest of the class couldn’t go, but we’d already paid, so here we are.”  
“Hey!” Another girl, this one with blue hair, was off talking to… Karkat? “Karkat! How are you?”  
“What? Why are you here?” Karkat was obviously panicked, or something.  
“Who is this? Why do you know eachother?” You were rather cuirous, so you asked away.   
“Oh, I’m just a friend of his boyfriend’s-”  
“Dave is not my boyfriend.”  
“Shush. I’m not done. I’m a friend of his boyfriend’s brother’s-well, and his brother’s boyfriend’s- friend, Roxy. Do you know her? I think she works here too. We know eachother through this one cooking class I took where Jane was the teacher and she was there and we were fast friends. She also likes my fanfics.”  
“Oh.” This didn’t really explain how she knew Karkat, but whatever.  
“Ohhh! Are we going to see Vriska?”  
Well, crap. You weren’t planning to show these kids the mertrolls, but if it was requested you guess you could.   
“Sure. But why are you actually here?”  
Before either of the girls who had already spoken answered, a boy from the back popped up and said, “ We’re here for learning about bioluminensice.”   
“Oh. Then you will certainly want to see Vriska.”   
The kids followed you through the aquarium. You settled into your regular routine, not thinking about anything. It was pretty normal at this point. Although, for some reason, these kids didn’t have a teacher and they were more like high schoolers with their knowledge of stuff. When they left, you had so much to do that you didn’t bother going to pick up Rose. She could spend a night with some new friends.   
Right as the aquarium was closing, a blonde girl with pink eyes showed up. “Hello.”  
Damn she was pretty. “Hello.”  
“I know it’s close to time to close, but could you please show me around?”  
You agreed. She walked behind you, listening to your every word. She was staring at you the whole time.   
“And here is my favorite part. It’s the tube of glass.”  
“Can we sit for a bit and look at it?”  
“Sure, I guess.”  
She sat on the bench. You sat down next to her. The two of you looked at the fish swimming by. Jade swam over, blocking out the light for a few minutes. It was still nice. The glow of the water reflected everything. Your phone went off, letting you know it was 9:00. “It is time to close, sorry.”  
“Oh! That’s fine. I should be heading out anyways. It was nice to meet you! See you around!”  
“See you around!”   
You walked out, locking up all the rooms. Your car was cold. You drove home anyways, slilpping into bed.  
***  
The next day when you walked in, Meenah was up and about.   
“You’re out of your tank!”  
“Yeah, I got bored.” It wasn’t a real problem, she was just in her room. Rose was sitting in their tank with Aranea, fast asleep. Aranea reached up and passed Rose to you. “She said you should let her sleep here tomorrow as well.”   
You were going to say no, I really doubt she said that, but you didn’t. You nodded your head and started for everything else you had to do.   
Around 9:30, a group of kids came in. It was the same group as yesterday!  
“What are you doing back here?”  
“Our teacher wants to get rid of us.” The talkative blue-haired girl was talking, as seemed normal.  
“Why?”  
“Do you really want to know?”  
“ I suppose not.”  
You walked them through the same places you had the other day. “Hey, miss, why do you have an octopus on your shoulder?” The boy spoke up.  
“Oh, she’s Rose. She helps out.”  
“Is she a mertroll?” A new, short girl was speaking.  
“... Sort of. We don’t really know.”  
“Do you love her?”   
“What?”  
“Do you feel the same way Caleia and Billy do?”  
“Ashley, one more word and I swear to god I will do a pirouette and kill something, and break your glasses.” That was the blue-haired girl.  
“I-”  
“Hey, what’s your name anyways? We never introduced ourselves.” This time, the Cap-shirt was speaking.  
“I am Kanaya. I am the acting CEO of the aquarium.”  
“I’m Amira.”  
“Billy.” The one boy who spoke.  
“Ashley, obviously.”  
“Caleia.”  
“Kyle.”  
“MJ.”  
“Jake.”  
“Jimmy.”  
“Satan.”  
“No, you’re Emily. Caleia is Satan.”   
“Ashley, let’s just move on.”  
“Fine. I’m Emily.”  
“Emma.”  
This would be… interesting. They were all pretty close friends, from the sounds of it. They were all very smart. And apparently, one of them knew Karkat. “It’s nice to meet all of you.”  
There was a chorus of “thanks” and they kids took off again, talking at what must have been three times the speed of light.  
“Hey, can we go back and see Sollux?” Emily asked.  
“How do you know Sollux?”  
“Through Caleia via Karkat, Dave, Dirk, Jake, Roxy, Jane, and a bakery meeting.”  
Okay then. We were going to go see Sollux!  
You walked them back through the halls. “Yo, we can just stay with Sollux if you want. We won’t annoy him too much.”  
““Amira you and I both know that’s a goddamn lie.”   
“Ashley no swearing.”“Fuck you, Bill!”“Ashley!”   
“Oh wait, that’s Caleia’s job.”“Ashley!” You rolled your eyes and abandoned them with Sollux. They wouldn’t hurt anyone. It would all be fine.***Surprisingly, it was. They talked to Feferi for awhile, pissed off Erifish, talked to Sollux. You did need to go home soon, so you put Rose back in the tank of Meenah and Aranea. You had to go shopping, as usual. Neither Porrim nor Dollorosa were ever in the mood to go shopping. None of you lived together, but they never, ever did anything for themselves, so you did it. You headed to the grocery store. You were browsing the pasta isle, looking for anything when the same girl from last night showed up.“Hey!”“Hello. How are you?”“Good, thanks.” You tried not to sound to flustered. “And you?”“I’m fine. Hey, if you don’t mind, I kinda like you. Do you want to go out sometime?”You would’ve blushed on the spot. Oh wait, you did.“Ummmm... Sure, I guess.” She seemed really forward, especially since last night she sounded a lot different.“Does Olive Garden sound good to you? Tomorrow?”“Sure!” She walked away. That was odd. She seemed a lot more educated and subtle yesterday than today. It wasn’t that bad in the scheme of things, but still. And, like a cliche, you didn’t even know her name. But whatever. You kept shopping. You needed to pick up some stuff for Rose's home tank. It was too bad they didn't sell octopus food at most stores.   
When you got home, you started to sort the things you had got into different piles. One for you, one for Porrim, one for Dolorosa. They'd stop by later and get it.   
And by later, you apparently meant now. "Hey Kanaya.   
"Hello Porrim"  
"I heard you had a date."  
How. "How?"  
"Magic. "  
" I wasn't even in the aquarium!"  
"So, who's it with? When?"  
" I don't actually know her name, but she's nice and pretty. And tomorrow night at Olive Garden. "  
"You don't know her name"  
" I forgot to ask. "  
"Seriously?"  
"Yeah. "  
"Whatever. I need to get you ready for it. You need to look pretty. "  
"I can make my own fashion choices, you know that right?"  
"Shush. "  
Porrim grabbed you and pulled you into your closet. "Well, your normal clothes aren't going to work."   
"I know that."  
"Lets go shopping. "  
"Porrim, it will be fine. There's nothing you need to worry about."  
Porrim looked at you. There was clear "hah no" on her face. She pulled you into her car and started off. "Now, I know goodwill isn't a normal choice, but it's cheep and has easily modified clothes. You look good in green and black, so when we get to the dress rack, grab everything in green and black and go into the dressing room to try them on. We'll get two or three and mash them up."  
"Porrim, it will be fine. I have plenty of pretty things, and I can do this myself. Don't worry about it."  
She looked at you. "Kanaya, I rarely get a chance to dress anyone up. Let me do this."  
You shook your head and let her do her thing. The worst that would happen is that you would look pretty.   
***  
The next day, work passed by in a blur. The kids came back, you talked to Meenah, and before you knew it it was time to go to Olive Garden. Porrim helped you do your makeup and hair.   
“You ready? Call me if it goes wrong. I will pick you up if it doesn't work out. “   
“Porrim, it will be fine.”  
You walked out the door and took the bus to Olive Garden. She was standing outside with a pretty yellow-and-orange dress on, shivering in the cold winter air. She saw you and waved. “Hey!”  
“Hello.”  
“So, it occurred to me I never got your name. I'm Rose.”   
You were a little shocked, but Rose was a pretty common name. “I'm Kanaya.”  
The two of you sat down. “So, you work at the aquarium?”  
“Yeah. I'm a stand in CEO and tour guide. What about you?”  
“Oh, I'm a photographer.”  
“What do you take photos of?”   
She seemed a little nervous, and changed the subject.   
During the date, mostly the two of you discussed the aquarium. You didn't hear much about her life, which made you a little suspicious, but you were having too much fun. But, before long, you had finished your food.   
“It's time for me to head home. It was nice talking to you, Kanaya.”  
“You too, Rose.” You were walking her out to her stop. She took the bus here too. Sadly, it wasn't the same route. When her bus arrived, she got in. You leaned up to say bye and instead of saying the same, she leaned down and kissed you. “Goodnight!”  
“Goodnight!” Her bus pulled away.   
You waited in the cold, but it didn't really bother you. You were still warm from her kiss.   
***  
When you got home, Porrim was gone, and you slipped into bed. It didn't feel like any time at all before it was bright outside, light shining through your curtains. You glanced over at your phone. It was buzzing. You grabbed it and answered.   
“Kanaya! We need you in now!”  
“Terezi, what's going on?”  
“Meenah and Aranea are gone! Rose is still in their tank, but they are gone!”  
You didn't bother saying a goodbye before you changed into your work clothes and drove in.   
***  
They had escaped into the sea. There was no sign of them. “And the Amazon people aren't even here. Great!”  
Oh well. They were nice while they lasted. The only message they left was a note addressed to you: “Sorry! Had to run. Oh w8, no we aren't. But don't bother looking for her. She came with us.( yeah we mean that girl you went on a date with)”  
That was weird. This whole thing was weird. At least you had some data from them. You picked up Rose from in their tank.   
“Hello. Did you have fun with them?” She nodded.   
It was really too bad they had left. And what did they mean, the took Rose with them?  
***  
Looking back, a few months later, you realized the truth. Maybe loving Rose wasn't that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please review.


	3. What Do You Mean I Have To Have A Chapter Title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. TW for concussion mention. And yes, I am fully aware that I overexaggerated the effects, but I did it for comedy.

Dave’s POV  
It was going to be a long day.   
It started easy, waking up and realizing you had a boyfriend. Karkat Vantas, the cutest boy ever, was your boyfriend! Or, something like that. You hadn’t asked him out yet, but you were planning to today. Just as soon as you got to the aquarium. You could do it. Come on. He kissed you. That had to mean he liked you, right?  
But of course, he was sick that day.   
“What do you mean, he’s sick!”   
Kanaya looked at you weirdly, but said, “You know I can’t control him and when he gets sick. That is unreasonable.”  
You rolled your eyes. “I know that. I just… Ugh, whatever. So what do I need to do today?”  
Kanaya grabbed her clipboard. “Let’s see… We do need someone to help with our new temporary exhibit, in the place where the Peixis was kept a few weeks back. It’s a cherub, a two-personality fish. You’ll see when you get there. Can you do that?”  
“... I guess!” You walked down to the back exhibit. Jane, Roxy, Dirk, and Jake were already there, coddling the fish. It wasn’t a mertroll. It seemed to be a green snake, about the size of your leg. It had two heads, one with little red spots and one with lime green spots.   
You walked up to Jane, who looked like she knew what she was doing. “So, what’s up with the heads?”  
“Well, according to the aquarium we got it from, this is temporary. To quote, ‘Until it matures, it has two distinct heads, but when it pupates, it changes into a more human-like being, although it does have forest green skin. It never really sleeps, but every once in a while it will change from lime green personality to red personality in what could be considered a sleep cycle. It is unknown whether the green or red personality will be more compassionate with this subject since there has been little development. We guess that the pupation will begin in a week.’ It goes on about 3 more pages, but I think that answers your question.”  
It… kind of did? “So there’s a good and evil personality and they switch when the other sleeps.”  
Jane looked at you blankly for a moment. “I guess.”  
“Well, great. I have no reason to be here if there are four people. I’ll go find somewhere else to mess around.”  
“Dave, no, it’s fine, stay if you-” You left before she could finish her sentence. No one needed you there.   
Walking through the halls, you slipped into a supply closet. You rested your back against the wall and looked arou-  
“Hell no.”  
You flipped the fuck out of that. Oh boy. You did not need to see that ever again. You didn’t need to see that once. How did Vriska even convince John to bring her in there? Was John okay? Was she manipulating him? Or was he just that kind of a freak. Probably he was just that kind of a freak. You ran away from that closet, trying to get what you just saw out of your mind.   
You ended up in an empty felt room. Well, you say empty, but it’s always rather full. Having 15 animals of different types in the same room is always interesting.  
Kanaya’s mom learned long ago that you cannot keep them apart, because Matchsticks and Cans, grey and blue whales respectively, will find a way to destroy the whole aquarium before everyone is back together. You’re glad you weren’t there when that happened.  
Eggs the giant petral comes flying over to you, hitting you with his wing. It causes you to be thrown back against the wall, luckily not knocking you out as he’s been known to do. It does, however, make your vision swim. It seems like there’s about 20 of him, along with 20 of Biscuits the narwhal. Weird that they are the only two who seem to multiply. You get back up and run into the safety of Jane’s restaurant. It’s closed since Jane’s still with the cherub, but no one ever locks the door. You walk to the back to get the headache relief that she keeps back there in case of the felt. God your head is killing you. You look back at the poster. 

“The Felt!

Named for their green, fuzzy skin, there are 15 of these guys all with different patterns, and most different species. They all appear to have hats, and we recently held a contest to name them. Here are the winners!   
Yellow Hat the Anglerfish: Itchy  
Blue Hat the Manatee: Doze  
Red Hat the Lemon Shark: Trace  
Purple Hat the Puffin: Clover  
Orange Hat the Lemon Shark: Fin  
Green Hat the Manatee: Die  
Maroon Hat the Pelican: Crowbar  
The Squid: Snowman   
Yellow Stripe Hat the Turtle: Stitch  
Blue Stripe Hat the Dwarf Sperm Whale: Sawbuck  
Red Stripe Hat the Grey Whale: Matchsticks  
Purple Stripe Hat the Giant Petral: Eggs  
Orange Stripe Hat the Narwhal: Biscuits  
Green Stripe Hat the Irrawaddy Dolphin: Quarters  
Maroon Stripe Hat the Blue Whale: Cans”

The names swim around in your head as the painkiller kicks in. Oh, boy was that a bad idea to go in there. You sit down in a booth and wow does the pillow-thing look nice to sleep on. It wouldn’t hurt to rest your head for just a minute, now would it…?   
*******  
When you woke up, everything was okay. There was no light, no- wait a second. You still had your eyes shut. You opened them slowly to see a very concerned Kanaya leaning over you, moving around. Why was she doing that?  
“Hey Kanaya, what’s going on?”  
“Dave! He’s awake! Put him down!”  
You felt the ground approach you. Woah, you didn’t know you could feel that. Cool. Dirk and Jake leaned over you from each side of the stretcher. Dirk was frantic, his hair messed up.  
“Dude, what the fuck happened to you? We found you just laying down in Jane’s- woah. Your eye. Dude, you okay?”  
You stammer out something about a giant wing egg. Luckily, Jake knows what you’re talking about.   
“Eggs. I should’ve suspected. He’s always been a pipsqueakin’ son of a Charlie,” he said.  
Dirk takes a moment to cringe at the words coming out of his boyfriend’s mouth. That wasn’t right at all. That wasn’t how those words were used, were they. Dirk berates him, much to Kanaya’s chagrin. Were those the right words? You didn't know. You didn’t care.  
“Hey, Kanaya?”  
She snapped her attention back to you.  
“Yes?”  
“I’d like to go home early if that’s okay with you. I’m not feeling so good.”  
“That sounds good, although I might have Dirk take you to go see a doctor. Does that sound good?”  
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” You manage to get out. You’re too tired to care at this point. “I’m just going to go back to sleep now. Okay?”  
Kanaya seems to panic. “No, not yet. We need to make sure you don’t have a concussion. If you go to sleep now, you might not wake up.”  
Hey, that’s wrong. “You know, if you have a concussion, the coma shit is unrelated? Do you know? I can sleep if I have a concussion. It’ll be fine. I already slept already.”  
Kanaya seemed not to hear you as she instructed Dirk and Jake to pick you up again and bring you to Dirk’s car.  
“Nooooooooo…” You whispered. These two had probably fucked here. Kinky lil shits. But no one heard you. Dirk got in the driver’s seat, Jake in the passenger’s.   
“Jake, I need you to call ahead and see if we can get an appointment. I don’t know if we need to go to the emergency room, but maybe. Here. Call from this.” He handed Jake a pumpkin. Wait, no he didn’t. Yes, he did? What pumpkin? Where? You’re sure there has never been a pumpkin in here, and the thought that there was is just preposterous. With that on your mind, you fell back asleep.   
******  
When you woke up again, you were on a doctor’s bed thing. Whatever those were called.   
“It’s called an examination table.”  
Oh. Wait, who was talking? Could they read your mind?  
“No, you’re speaking out loud. It’s expected for this to happen for a bit. Confusion like this isn’t unusual for concussion patients. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what you have. Be thankful you work at an aquarium. If you did something else, you would have to stop. But aquariums are rather peaceful. Of course, I do have to insist that you don’t act in another movie for a few months.”  
You make sure to speak out loud this time, purposefully. “Yeah, that’s okay. I’m good. Sounds good.”  
The doctor smiled at you. “Now, let’s run some tests to make sure you don’t have anything worse than a concussion.”  
You followed the doctor’s finger back and forth. They asked you to put your chin on your chest. You did. “Now touch my hand with your forehead.” But they’d just asked you to keep your chin on your chest! You couldn’t do both at once! You struggled to do as they asked.  
Dirk laughed. So he was still here.   
“Dude, they mean to move your head off your chest.”  
Oh. Wow, your brain is addled.   
After a few more minutes of this, the doctor says, “Yep. You definitely have a concussion. Stay in a dark room for a while. You can go back to work after 2 weeks of rest and you’ve come back to check in with me. Now, go home with your brother. You shouldn’t stay on your own until you can fully function. Have a nice day!”  
You walk out of the office and oh god is it bright. You hiss, a reaction that was kind of stupid now that you think about it. Ow. It hurts to think about it. So you stop. You grab your brother’s sweatshirt from around his waist and tie it over your eyes. That’s a little better.   
He guides you out from the office and into the daylight. You swear Maine has never been so bright, even though when you last checked it was a nice shade of grey.   
You sit in the back seat of the car, hands over your eyes. The sweatshirt doesn’t help a lot. The light is still too much. The car starts. Thank god this time you aren’t as messed up as you have been and the sound isn’t the worst. Wow, were those even words you just thought? Wow, how did you get home so quickly? Wasn’t the doctor’s office like an hour away? Whose house were you even going to? Dirk’s? This wasn’t your apartment.   
Dirk helped you up and brought you up to the guest room you usually slept in. He shut the blinds and laid you down on the bed. It was dark enough. That was nice. You gave him back his sweatshirt and immediately regretted it. The light coming from behind the blinds and curtains over the top was too bright. The light from under the door made your eyes scream in pain, even through your shades. Hey, how did those get back there? Get those off. No wait, that’s another mistake. Wait, maybe if you…  
You tucked your head under the comforter and threw your shades on to the dresser, but instead of nicely sitting there, they slid off and onto the other side. Great. At least you were a little comfortable here. You pulled off your skinny jeans and pushed them off the bed onto the ground, your shirt meeting them soon enough. You curled up under the blankets and went to sleep.  
When you woke up, you were bored. You snuck a glance around from under the sheet, making sure there was no one there. You kept your eyes closed and crawled until you found your shades, making the starlight coming from outside a little darker. God, already you had made yourself photosensitive. Now every bit of light was exaggerated. You put on a pair of sweatpants from the dresser and a loose shirt. You tied the sheet around you like a cape, just in case you needed another layer between you and light. Oh god, all the stuff you grabbed was red, wasn’t it? You probably looked like a nightmare.   
You opened the door and panicked. Where was your phone?   
Dirk walked out from his room down the hall. You must’ve been making too much noise.   
“Dude, where’s my phone?”  
“I’m not getting it for you,” he stated. “You have to stay off of screens for a month or two here. Trust me.”  
“What!” You shouted. Ow, that hurt. Jake came out at your shout, half-naked. You pulled your sheet-cape over your head to not see that.   
“Dirk, what’s- Oh! You’re awake,” he casually remarked. “You’ve been asleep for a while now. Feeling any better?”  
“Not really.”  
He paused. “Oh.”  
“What time is it, anyway?”  
Dirk answered me, sending Jake back to their room. “It’s like-” he paused to check his phone. “-1:49 AM.”  
“Oh.” You weren’t feeling particularly tired though. “So what can I do on a concussion?”  
Dirk looked at you sadly. You had had them before, that he knew, but you had grown up with your older brother and… well, he wasn’t the greatest parental figure. “Nothing.”  
Well, fuck. This was going to be a long two weeks.  
******  
Karkat’s POV  
You walked into Kanaya’s office after a few days of being sick. Something like the flu. You weren’t tested for it, even though you should’ve been. The doctor said something about there being too many people with the flu running them out of the tests. So they sent you home with instructions to stay home for a few days until you were feeling better. Kankri had talked your ears off about missing work and the importance of being well for the animals, as well as literally every other subject he could think of while he was home. If he didn’t have a job as attention-demanding as he did at the aquarium, he probably would’ve called you to talk about things instead of just check up on you. As it happened, you were able to get into YouTube. Some Dan Howell guy and his (maybe boy)friend Phil Lester were very entertaining when you were on as many medications as you were. Probably when you weren’t too, but that’s what you knew so far.   
“Oh, hello Karkat! Feeling better?”   
“Yeah, a lot. Now, what do I need to do?”  
She smiled at you patiently, obviously finding your grumpy demeanor cute. “Feferi needs her cage cleaned out. Could you get on that?”  
“Ugh. Fine. Hey, have you seen Strider? I’ve been meaning to talk to him about some things.”   
Her face fell. “He got hit by Eggs. He’s home with a concussion.”  
Oh, you had to be fucking kidding. Just as soon as you got over the whole mess with the kiss and that one “date” that was probably a terrible idea with literally anyone you had known. A bakery date? Really? You guess it was okay, except for that one kid.   
And now he was at home, concussed.   
“Okay, whatever. See you later.”  
You walked out of the room and over to Sollux’s office. He kept the “royal” type mertrolls- the others referred to Erifish and Feferi as such- for some reason you didn’t know. Well, you could guess why they were together, but not why Sollux was there. You guess he was Erifish’s matesprit or something. Or were they kismeshit? Whatever the fuck that was. And he had something to do with Feferi? Were they matesprits? Who even knew at this point. Not you, that’s for sure.  
You grabbed your bucket out of the supply closet. Feferi blushed at the sight, but when you started cleaning her tank she calmed down. She started jabbering away as usual.  
“So, how are you? I heard you had the flu? What’s that?”  
Oh. Right. “I’m better, thanks. The flu is a kind of bacteria that my body has to fight off. I got sick from that bacteria. Apparently, there was something like a miscalculation about what specific kind of that bacteria that would be an issue this year and I got a shot for the wrong kind. But you didn’t ask that. Whatever.”  
She smirked. “Sounds like you’ve been hanging around Strider a little too much.”  
You rolled your eyes but nodded. “His soliloquies are extremely contagious.” You moved to another part of her tank, cleaning off fingerprints from excited three-year-olds talking to a fish. She followed you, her tail swishing around.   
“Hey, Karkat?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you want to be a mertroll at some point? You’d be really pretty!”  
Oh. She’d never asked before. You stopped to think about it. It’d be interesting. What would you even be? A crab? Probably. Then you could hang out with the Mayor. He was so perfect. You loved him. Everyone did. He understood you and you understood him, even though he didn’t speak.   
“Yeah, maybe sometime. Not now though. Now I need to clean Erifish’s tank.”  
She brightened up for a moment. “I should tell you, some five-year-old got too excited and licked it or something. He’s been bugging me about it all day.”  
Your face scrunched up reflexively at the thought of it. Ew. Some kids. But that was your job, so you went over to start cleaning. Erifish was hanging out on the other side of the tank. When he saw you coming, he pointed out exactly where the kid had licked his glass. “Kar it needs to be perfect. Clean it please.”  
As much as Erifish was a little annoying, you did enjoy his company. He was pretty nice when you got to know him.   
After a few more tedious hours of cleaning off kid-marks, you got a call. You ducked into a nearby supply closet after making sure it was empty- which thank gog it was- and answered.   
“Hi, you’ve reached the 24-hour Karkat line, how may I direct your call?”  
“Hey, it’s Dirk. Thought you might like to come over and see Dave today? He doesn’t have anything to do and he’s been asking for you. It may be true that he’s a little delirious, but nevertheless, he’d like you to come over once your shift is done.”   
Faintly, you heard Dave in the background. Dirk must’ve shifted the phone a little, but you still heard him say “I’m calling your crush now, chill out dude.” loud and clear. You were glad about being alone in the supply closet because you knew that your blush could be seen from outer space.   
“Yeah, I can come over. Kankri might be a little unhappy- I was sick recently- but it’ll be okay. He really must be delirious to be asking for me.”  
Dirk inhaled sharply. “You have no idea. He’s been asking for like 4 days now.”  
“Well, tell him I’ll be by in about-” you checked your phone- “three hours. What’s your address again?”  
While Dirk listed off his and Jake’s house number, you left the supply closet. It didn’t occur to you at all that you now knew where your crush spent a good chunk of his time. Not at all.   
He hung up, saying something about helping Dave find something to do, and you got back to your job.   
Which, apparently, was gossip. When you turned the corner, you heard Roxy giggling.   
“Oh gog. What do you want?”  
“So you’re going over to your bae’s house? Hmmm?”  
“No! I just….”  
Roxy looked you dead in the eye. “Oh, Karkles.”  
“Don’t call me that.”  
“You’re going over to bae’s house.”  
“I don’t even know what that word means and I don’t want to know. Now if you’ll excuse me, the Mayor needs my attention.” You would’ve told her not to say anything, but you know it’s useless. You might as well go over now and avoid the embarrassment sure to follow, but you had given them 3 hours. And you did have a job to do. The Mayor always was a handful, but he was perfect. Perfect and amazing.  
But when you got to his cage, he wasn’t there. Someone must’ve taken him somewhere else to clean his cage, or maybe he’d just escaped again to rebuild Can Town. Damn it.  
Where else could you hide? Not with Terezi, or Kanaya… What about Tavros? Gamzee was pretty far back. And as far as you knew, neither of them really kept up with gossip. You made your way back there, avoiding the visitors and the staff.   
Luckily for you, Tavros did need help getting the Makaras fed. The hours passed by quickly, and soon enough, you had to head out.   
When you got to your car, you were intercepted by Kanaya.   
“Don’t even start.”  
She looked offended you thought she would. “Hey! I’m just here to give you this get-well card for Dave. Don’t make so many assumptions.”   
She let you go and you drove away. Everyone had signed the card except you and Tavros. Even Feferi had left a kiss on it. You made sure not to touch that. According to Rufioh, who had seen Meenah kiss her hand then punch Kurloz with it to make him human, this kiss might be able to turn you, and you sure as hell didn’t want that to happen when you were about to drive. The effects lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to a week.   
You put the address Dirk had given you into your phone and headed to see Dave. When you got there, Jake was outside. He gave a sigh of relief and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you inside. Dirk was on the couch but got up as soon as he saw you. “He’s upstairs. Try not to break him. And I mean that in the least sexual way possible. Don’t make it relevant in a sexual context either. Jake needs to get back to work and figure out what we’re doing with the felt. Oh, and good luck.” With that somewhat cryptic warning, they ran out and drove away.   
“Dave?” you called. The upstairs was dark, but you went up anyways. You had never had a concussion, but you’d heard they were terrible. “Hello?”  
What sounded like a knock on a door sounded from in one of the rooms. “It hurts to yell so don’t make me do it more than this.”  
You walked in to find a curled up ball on the bed. You inhaled sharply.   
“Well, what are you doing? Close the goddamn door.”  
You followed his instructions.  
“H-hi.” You weren’t entirely sure what to say. You’d almost gone on a date, and you had kissed, but… now he was asking for you while sick. That was incredibly domestic. Almost like a shitty romcom.   
“You’re here, finally.”  
“Yeah, but why?”  
Even in the dark, with his shades on, and what may have been a sheet over his head, you could still tell he rolled his eyes. “Because I like you, dumbass.”  
That caught you off guard.  
“Have you never had a concussion before? I’ve had a few and let me tell you, for me, my inhibitions go way down. So kiss me. Or some shit.”  
You laughed. “You really are sick, aren’t you?”   
“Stfu.”  
“Did you really just say ‘stfu” out loud?”  
“Stfu.”  
You sighed. At least he was alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Tell me what you thought. I know the ending wasn't great, but I did kind of want to do something for an ending. The next I will do will cover Rosemary more and possibly the felt. I will take requests for anything but not reader x character, I just am not good at writing those. I will attempt smut if requested. Hope you enjoyed!


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